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Weekly Marriage Blog

The Husband Leads in Communication

By Dr. David Clarke, Ph.D

The Big Idea
It is the husband's job to lead his wife in the area of communication.  

The Teaching
The Bible is clear that the husband is to lead in every area of the marriage relationship(Ephesians 5:22-24).  This  includes communication, even though most husbands really don't know what they are doing in this area.  The wife will not demand perfection; she will see his effort and be happy. 

First, the husband sits down with his wife every weekend and schedules four 30 minute Couple Talk Times for the upcoming week.  This is leadership.  Scheduling the Talks makes sure you will have them.  

Second, when it is time for a Talk Time, the husband invites his wife to talk:  "It's time for our Talk Time, Honey."  Women like to be pursued.  If you forget the Talk Time and do not invite her and she is forced to remind you, you have failed.  You are not 10 years old.  You are a grown man and need to remember and invite her. 

During the Talk Time, the husband leads by guiding the couple through 5 Talk Time Stages.  The wife obviously does her share of talking(just try to stop her), but the husband also talks.  He listens to the wife and gives reactions to what she says, and also comes up with his own original material. 

For a detailed description of the 5 Talk Time Stages, get my book:  Honey, We Need to Talk.  Speaking of leadership, husband, buying this book and going through it with your wife is an outstanding example of leadership.  And, I make some money. It's a win-win.

Next week, more on communication.  

By the way, I will be on the Janet Parshall radio show tomorrow, May 28, from 6-7 PM Eastern Time.  Her show is on the Moody network.  Go to inthemarketwithjanetparshall.org to listen to the show.  It will be on my latest book, Enough is Enough:  How to Leave an Abusive Relationship. 

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