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Weekly Marriage Blog

Your Husband Still Won't Schedule Talk Times

By Dr. David Clarke, Ph.D

The Big Idea

When your husband chooses(and it is a choice)to not respond to a fair, reasonable request to schedule and lead your Couple Talk Times, it's time for tough love. 

The Teaching

You have followed my steps in my last blog(June 17, 2019)to ask your husband to schedule the 4 thirty minute Couple Talk Times each week. You are willing to talk to him about what is preventing him from scheduling and leading these talks.  You are willing to read Dr. David Clarke's book, Honey, We Need to Talk, with him and learn together how to communicate on a deeper level.  

He will not talk with you about scheduling the Talks.  Or, he will only tell you he doesn't want to do the talks and gives a series of bogus reasons.  He will not go through my Honey book with you.  So, you have hit a brick wall.  

It's clear he is being selfish and does not care about your needs.  It is clear he doesn't care that these Talk Times are very important to you.  It is clear that he doesn't care that you are unhappy and hurt in this marriage.  

At this point, he has moved into the sinner role.  By refusing to meet your need for communication-in fact, refusing to even try-he is sinning in a serious way.  His job as your husband is to love you as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her(Ephesians 5:25)and he is willfully choosing to not do that. In addition, he is wounding you and harming the marriage.

Most wives would just tolerate this serious sin, keep praying, and try to go on in the relationship as best they can.  I have a different approach; it is the Bible's approach. If you allow him to defeat you in this communication area, you will never-never-have an intimate marriage.  And, you will die emotionally over time and lose all love and respect for him.  One day, you could hit the wall and be done with him.  

It is  time for Matthew 18:15-17.  This week, I want you to read this passage and pray about it.  Ask God if this passage applies to your situation with a husband who refuses to make time to communicate with you.  I think it does apply, but read it and pray about it.   

Next week, I will walk you through the steps of confrontation.    

Keep in mind, I am always open to blog topics.  email them to me at:  davideclarkephd@gmail.com

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